Day 34: Cultivate

When I was practicing law, we had to bill our time down to every 6-minute increment. We had to account for at least 7.5 hours of everyday. There were time codes for each client and each matter associated with that client & each task that made up each matter. Every entry had at least three-points of drilling down to account for each moment.

We even had billing codes for time off, vacation (a mere formality, I assure you), and administrative time — for things like all the time you actually spent keeping track of & accounting for your time.

To have a shot at even staying on the partnership track? You better be billing at least 60 client-facing, revenue-generating hours a week, all the time.

Oy.

I recently recalled that the program we used for entering all our time for billing purposes was called “Kronos.” And during all those years spent entering my time in Kronos, I never actually spent a second of it considering the meaning of the word.

The ancient Greeks had two different words for time: Kronos (or Chronos) and Kairos (or Cairos).

Kronos is “doing.” Kronos is the chronological, sequential time. It’s how we know where to be when. It’s what our google map tells us about our commute. It’s quantitative. It’s how we organize the “doing” portion of our life — the appointments, the meetings, the agendas, the smart watches, the billable hour.

Kronos understands time in terms of the past (taking into account lessons learned and regrets not to be repeated) and the future (worries, thoughts, and planning what’s next).

And for all those reasons, Kronos time can be exhausting.

Necessary for some parts of our lives — to be sure. But exhausting if we’re always in this place of push and pull between the past and present, leaving us depleted at the end of the day, even if we’re just sitting in one place (the computer, ahem).

Kairos, on the other hand, is PRESENT time, actually experienced through the lens of PRESENCE.

Kairos is a bit ironic, perhaps, because it’s the time spent when we don’t even feel time passing at all.

This is the time for “being” — completely absorbed in a creative project, totally awake right where we are, captivated in conversation or stopped in our tracks by a sunset or rocking the baby in the  middle of the night.

Kairos is quality time.

Kairos is the kind of time where there’s always enough time.

And Kairos is the time for which there is no billing code.

Unsurprisingly, our modern, cultural conversation has conflated the two into just one word: time.

Efficient, perhaps.

Satisfying? Not even close.

Especially because we only have to review our last 24 hours to realize how much of it’s organized & understood solely by the Kronos / doing framework.

Which, at the end of a busy day, can feel like a lot of wasted time.

ONE SIMPLE QUESTION YOU CAN ASK IN ANY MOMENT to capture that Kairos, to experience presence, and in effect to get MORE TIME by making the most of your time is this — 

“Am I really doing what I say I’m doing?”

It sounds so obvious perhaps that you’re initial answer might be: “Of course! What else would I be doing?”

But think about this moment even now. Are you reading only reading these words or are you also mentally adding items to your grocery list for the week?

It is shocking to realize how often we say we’re doing one thing — “on the call, watching our kid’s soccer practice, doing the dishes” — and really our minds could be as far off as that conversation that happened 10 years ago with the one who got away or worrying about whether we’re going to meet that deadline at the end of the month.

Try this today — pick any task, especially one you do often, and see if you can actually do what you say you’re doing.

Start simple, say, brushing your teeth. And every time your mind wanders away (it will!) — check back in: Am I really here brushing my teeth right now? (Or am I practicing in my head for the big presentation later this week)?

Start with a few brushing teeth / washing dishes / taking a walk moments of practicing presence.

Once you get the hang of really doing what you say you’re doing and being where you say you are in those simple moments, it’s time to up-level to where it really counts.

Try it when you’re having a conversation with someone you love. When you’re just hanging out with your kids. When you’re doing your work (not multitasking with your inbox open or diving down the rabbit hole of another scroll while you’re on a call).

You might even write these reminders down and tape them to your computer screen or the back of your phone:

Am I really doing what I' say I’m doing? Am I really where I say I am? Am I really right here right now?

The simplest way into presence and the only way I know to get more time — by making the most of your time.

Right here with you,
Cath

Meditation: The Loving-Kindness Meditation. Do your best. Let it be enough.

Reflection: Kairos & Kronos — take stock of today. How much is spent in each type of time? What brings you into Kairos — it could be what I mentioned and it could be a lot of other things: dancing, throwing pottery, gardening, walking, running, playing music. Make a short list of what completely absorbs you in the moment. Make sure you make time for at least one of those things today. Everyday?