catherine zack

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Day 16: Let Go

I said it yesterday, and I will say it all the days of my life: the stuff that we’re working with this week in Let Go is STICKY.

The habits, thoughts, emotions, patterns, stories, literal STUFF — so much of our day-to-day lives is filled with fodder for this energetic quality of (and sometimes literal) release.

If it wasn’t so sticky, we’d be done with it already, right?

We’re so used to holding onto things tightly when they bring us comfort or pleasure or they help us avoid pain. Whether they’re “good” or “bad” or “right” or “wrong,” we grip. We’re doing this all the time! So we ourselves start to feel “tightly held” too. It’s like the way stress feels. Anxiety. Fear. Doubt. You name it. Tight.

I’m talking about the gritted teeth, the clenched jaw, the shoulders stuck high and rigid around our ears, the breath shallow in the top of our chests. Our bellies tied in knots. Our bodies braced. Even our fingers, even our toes — clenched!

Our lives are constantly in flux. Filled with so much uncertainty and change, even on the somewhat rote, “boring” days. As Pema says, “the very nature of our existence is forever in flux.” And so we keep trying to grab ahold of experiences, moments, beliefs, people just to get a literal grip — a foothold — to counteract the sense of groundlessness that can hit us in any given moment.

I remember the first time I took a walk with my husband, Sam. I was nervous. He’s got THE most laid-back demeanor when you first encounter him (if you load the dishwasher in a willy nilly way, now that’s a different story!). I am the opposite. I am tightly wound, I am high energy, I am talkative and nervous.

So we’re walking around the block, and we start to hold hands. We’re walking in mostly silence (even though the inside of my head is LOUD as ever).

And Sam says to me: “Would you mind loosening your grip a bit?”

And sure enough, as my attention slid down to my hand, it was TIGHT. My knuckles were WHITE. I was holding on so … intensely! I was grasping pleasure! And crushing it!

Life needs room to breath.

If we’re so tight and rigid and grippy, we can’t bend. And we will break.

So the next time your uncertainty clamps you down on something. Whether you clench your jaw to try and steel yourself off from a painful experience like stress. Or you hold your breath to try and make something nice last longer.

Try it. Loosen the grip. Give the uncertainty some space to BE. And yourself too.

see you right back here tomorrow,
Cath

Meditation: Keep going with this Big Feeling Practice for another day. 15 minutes to create just enough space between yourself and your emotions and your habituated reactions to them ;) We move into thought work tomorrow!

Reflection: I know some of you are dog people. I am decidedly not. 🤣 But I’m around enough to know this particular command: “Leave it!” Usually said multiple times until the dog drops the offending whatever that’s in their mouth. This image kind of makes me laugh, and GOD KNOWS a sense of humor is helpful when it comes to this letting go work! So make a list. It can be right now or you can actually make it throughout your day (maybe use your notes app to track this). What makes you say to youself, “Leave it. Leave it. Leave it. Leave it.” What thoughts, emotions, big feelings, stories, habits, reactions, people, places, things do YOU pick up even though you know it would be best to just … leave it?

A variation on this is — of course — what are you holding onto so tightly that you might be crushing too? Where can you loosen your grip?

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Day 16 Meditation: Let Go (15 min) - the one-and-a-half-minute thing Catherine Zack