Day 5: Arrive

At the heart of 40 Early Mornings is meditation practice.

Meditation is essentially paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, to the present moment, without the judgment, without the story, without the filter of good/bad, right or wrong.

Simple. Definitely not easy.

Which is why it’s good to have a meditation teacher. Or many. My biggest teachers are probaby my kids, my marriage, and nature.

I also have “proper” “official” meditation teachers. Thank goodness.

Chief among them is Pema Chödron, a Zen Buddhist nun in her 80s, who found meditation mid-life when she learned her husband had cheated on her. She’s a mother, a grandmother, a teacher, a forever student, the former head of Gampo Abbey — a monastery hanging off the edge of the cliffs on the harshest coasts of Nova Scotia, and writer of such stunningly titled books as When Things Fall Apart.

This is from Pema to me to you, from When Things Fall Apart :

“I used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: ‘Only to the extent that we can expose ourselves over and over again to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.’ Somehow, even before I heard the Buddhist teachings, I knew that this was the spirit of true awakening. It was all about letting go of everything.

Nevertheless, when the bottom falls out and we can’t find anything to grasp, it hurts a lot. … We might have some romantic view of what that means, but when we are nailed with the truth, we suffer. We look in the bathroom mirror, and there we are with our pimples, our aging face, our lack of kindness, our aggression and timidity — all that stuff.

This is where tenderness comes in. When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize we are on the verge of something. We might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality. There is definitely something tender and throbbing about groundlessness.”

Here’s today’s journaling prompt: If I’m being honest, here’s how the meditation practice is going for me so far … [ Take special notes of the parts that feel challenging, where you come up against resistance, and even maybe, what feels GOOD so far! ]

And perhaps, picking up on Pema’s invitation: where does the tenderness come in for you? or is it mostly missing? When was the last time you were tender? Maybe … we can be, right now? (Maybe not ;) How about that word, “groundlessness” (!?!?!) — where’s the place of Daily Practice and meditation in all of this?

To the tenderness, today. And more tomorrow —
Cath

& in case you missed it Sunday —

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