Day 3: Arrive
For 3 days now, you’ve been receiving an email from me each morning containing that day’s “bread-and-butter” daily practice.
So what is a practice anyways?
A practice is any solo, single-tasking, sacred time that you set aside for yourself to come back to yourself. Why would you need a path back to yourself?
Well, if you’re like me and the rest of the folks here, there are SO many things that pull us away.
[Here’s my list: stress, self-doubt, rage, worry, distraction / the black hole of instagram, wine (grrrr, I hate that it’s true, but it’s true!), parenting stress, parenting rage (lol repeats, but worth refining this!), being hangry, getting annoyed at my husband (I’m annoying too, I know, I know!), it goes on…]
In this way of bringing me back, practice is like a touch tree.
Do you know this concept?
A touch tree is a wilderness survival concept (literally, and well, metaphorically, here).
To prevent yourself from getting irreconcilably lost in the woods, you pick one, big, recognizable tree to come back to as you move through and explore the world around you.
In the same way, daily practice is the steady reference point you can always come back to, to check in, to reset, to get your bearings. The conditions around you change, but you’ve got your connection to a true north. Practice as daily touch tree.
Practice is also a laboratory. It’s a place to try new things out. To cultivate qualities we’re seeking, to work out things we’re stuck on, to collect data about our lives in any moment. The control factor is the practice itself. Here, it’s the daily repetition of this 3-part framework: reading the essay, listening to the meditation, reflecting through writing. The variables are your mood, the time of the month, the time of day, how well you slept, who you’re pissed at, whether you’ve had too much caffeine (or not enough), the season, what’s going on at work, your relationships, the literal weather. And none of it needs to be a particular way for you to show up. No such thing as perfect conditions. Practice does not care. You show up angry, hangry, sad, depressed, anxious, bloated, exhausted, cold, distracted. You just show up. The laboratory of practice accepts any and all data.
Practice is process. It’s more journey than destination. Despite the images you see on Instagram, practice isn’t really something you can point to, put a filter on, and say “here! look at me, I did this!” The end result isn’t the point so much as the alchemy taking place while you’re practicing.
Practice is also NOT a lot of things too: it’s not a perfect, that’s for sure.
Which means you can’t get it right. You also can’t get it wrong, as long as you just show up everyday.
And on that note, you’ve got to show up. That’s really your only job. Practice kind of meets you there and takes over.
You’re currently creating a muscle memory for practice over these 40 days. And with me in here in your inbox and this structured format I’m sharing, you’ve got the guard rails on as you practice practice & exercising the muscle for growing capacity and consistency.
Don’t worry about what happens from there. Just take it one day at a time for now.
Which is easier said than done, I know. Because we often want to know how the story ends as soon as we start reading it. It’s the same thing as being a kid in the backseat of a long car ride asking, “are we there yet?”
[ Good news: practice can be a place to cultivate patience, and also deal more gracefully with uncertainty and not knowing how it all works out perfectly in the end ;) ]
So for now, all you have to do is keep showing up. Trust that you’re getting what you need as it comes. Don’t worry about what happens if you mess up. Or you don’t like it yet. Or can’t stop wondering, “is this working?!?!?!”
For now — all you have to do is keep showing up:
open your email each day
read the essay (you’re done!)
practice your meditation (right below)
reflect (on that note…)
Here’s today’s journaling prompt:
Practice is not a new skill we’re trying to learn that’s totally foreign and outside ourselves (even if you’re fairly new to meditation practice). Because practice is essentially allowing ourselves to be fully present in the moment, to the moment, with ourselves. Remember the definition? Practice is any solo, single-tasking, sacred time we set aside for ourself to come back to ourself. And I bet you already have a host of things that you practice if that’s the case (taking a walk! painting! holding your hot mug of tea of coffee in your hands! lighting a candle! … )
2 parts to the question for you to put pen to paper on today:
What pulls you away from yourself? (see my starter list above if you need a kickstart. But you probably know your own list well ;))
What already brings you back? In other words, what are you already practicing? (you can use my starter list above too ;))
Ok. So much more to come. Just enough for now.
I’ll see you right back here tomorrow morning,
Cath
& in case you missed it Sunday —